How to win arguments with women: (Tip 2) Use CHEAP SHOTS!

I know people might read this and consider this advice to be unethical. The correct etiquette in life dictates that one should fight fairly and morally or not fight at all. If you subscribe to such a tenet, prepare for women to rip you to shreds with cheap shots that will attack your well being like a carefully targeted scud missile. 
Cheap shots do not have to follow a logical pattern, they just have to disorientate your opponent and silence them so you can win. You may be arguing about what milk to buy, and then you may suddenly get hit with a barrage of insults about your erectile dysfunction, inadequacies in the sack and the time you urinated on yourself in the park when a rabid poodle attacked you. While you are confused, she will then nail you with a killer blow.


So if you are not prepared to use cheap shots, you will not win any arguments. Remember, you want to disorientate her, not piss her off. If you simply point out random deficiencies that she has: A) you are being a bit of a d-bag or B) I can tell you from personal experience, which includes several bruises and a public beat down, that women cannot take the same sort of insults they dish out. So when you execute a cheap shot, be very delicate and caring about it. Here are a few cheap shot topics that might work:

1. Why her past relationships failed (great one!).
2. Weight (causes permanent damage so NOT recommended unless you are desperate!).
3. Why your Ex was better.
4. How boys don’t take her seriously, they just look at her boobs (In rare situations this may be taken as a compliment).
5. Women belong in the kitchen/bedroom.
6. Her age (can result in the aforementioned public beating).
7. Average female salaries compared with male salaries.

Remember cheap shot must be executed with care so as not to hurt her but to disorientate her.


How NOT use a cheap shot.
You know, the reason nobody listens to you is that you are too fat and useless 
OR
This kind of behavior is why we should not have female presidents.


How to CORRECTLY use a cheap shot.
We should really stop arguing like this. It’s not healthy at all. I really don’t want to end up fed up of you and  have to leave you like all the other guys you’ve been with. I care about you.

Disclaimer: If you get in any trouble after following this advice, I will not be held accountable for the repercussions that follow. If fact you should deny knowing me or having ever read rishabhbarmecha.blogspot.com. In the event, your tormenter finds out about this article, I reserve the right to completely deny knowing you and will be forced remove this article in its entirety for my own protection.

10 things Not to Do on a date! Date Killing 101

The ritual of dating appears to have evolved into a parody of foolish do's and don'ts. However, I have been on a few dates and certain things can definitely kill a date off faster than bleach kills bacteria. So here is a list of common date killers. I can personally attest to the effectiveness of some of them.

1. Madame Picksalot: Nothing induces the turn off mechanism more than an individual who is unreasonably picky about activities or food on a date. I once went on a date with a girl who ordered a burger, then proceeded to surgically strip it apart till just a naked burger patty remained. I asked her why she just didn't just order a steak? Fact is, a person like that will likely pick YOU apart soon enough.

2. Damsel and Depressed: Not that people don't want to hear your issues, problems and challenges, but for heavens sake just not on a first date! The reason is simple, people don't really care enough at that stage. Baring your soul on a first date is equivalent to listening to a homeless beggar's life story that you just met the street. So if you ignore my advice and choose to bare your life story on a first date you may as well go flat out and bring a cup and beg your date for spare change.

3. Mr and Mrs late: Unless you are African or Black there is really no good reason for you to fail to arrive on time for a date. It comes across as a lack of enthusiasm as well as a lack of respect for your date. It is also nerve racking for the person waiting because there is always the thought that they may get stood up dwelling in the back of their mind. Alone, in a room with people watching, nervous anticipation. That sounds remarkably like awaiting execution sitting in an electric chair.

4. Enough about me let's talk about ME: Guys there is nothing that's more of a turn off than talking about yourself all night. Most females will agree that this can become rather annoying. This is because you are denying them the opportunity to talk about themselves all night. There is a balance. Women use up to 20000 words per day and while men use approximately 7000. So don't upset the balance by yapping nonsense continuously like a republican radio talk show host.

5. Why let facts get in the way of a good story: It is tempting to lie about yourself because you want to look understanding, funny, easy going, compassionate, chill and the rest of the more favorable traits. However anything you hide will slowly be unraveled in time. So if you think killing animals and burying them in your garden is a fun activity, you’d best convey that information up front. After all, even a potential serial killer can find love.

6. Beer muscles! Of course you may be nervous and a calming drink before hand may help. However to have an 18 pack of Milwaukee's Best and 9 shots of Jack Daniels whiskey is unacceptable! The drunken asshole has poor control of their behavior. It's also a disingenuous representation of oneself and slightly cowardly. Unless you found out an hour before that your date was in fact “Swamp Thing”, there one million good reasons to be sober and sharp witted.

7. Casanova: I believe looking at the opposite sex is a natural human behavior pattern so my advice in this case is “JUST DON’T GET CAUGHT!”! Ladies, you have cleavage and other assets to distract a man while you take a quick peak at Dr McDreamy. Guys, you will have to show more guile and create some kind of diversion to momentarily distract her. You can try screaming out, “Oh my God it's David Hasselhof!!!! [take a quick peak] false alarm sorry!”)

8. The g-chatterbox: There is really no need to be on g-chat, text, aim or any one of those variants during a date. People have forgotten that it's actually rude to excessively text a bunch of people while you are socially interacting. It's like having a third person in the room and one of you is whispering back and forth with them. So tell your BFF that AAR8 you are NF2T ATM so B4N and you will BRB in a minute HAK.

9. The Spare Wheel: I actually think that I may question the sanity of the friend that actually agrees to do this. The original idea is foolish, but the friend must actually approve of the idea and physically follow through. What do they intend to do? Take their place if all goes array? Jump up and club the date over the head if they speak out of turn? If you are that uncomfortable, don't go on the date or perhaps have the friend spy from a distance like a secret shopper, which is juvenile but marginally better.

10. Raised by Wolves! Eat in a calm dignified manner, not as if you were raised by a pack of wolves. This is especially true if you are of African decent like I am. If you eat as if you are starving, that is instant validation of the assumption that we have no food in Africa or that this is the first time you are partaking of such a meal. Your date may adopt a “Save an African Child” approach and donate 80 cents a day to ensure that you have food and a place to sleep.

Woman Law: 10 Laws EVERY woman follows

There are numerous laws that men abide by. This coding system has come to be known as  “Man Law”. Women also have a multitude of laws and implicit rules that they abide by to prevent anarchy and total chaos. Here are a few:


Woman Laws:


1. It is acceptable for a woman to resolve conflict with another woman by physically fighting her. If the conflict is at a bar or club, it is only permissible for the fight to take place in the womens' bathroom. 


2. If two women both like a man, the first woman to have seen him shall be offered the first action, regardless of her aggregate attractiveness. If the first sighting was simultaneous, the first woman he talks to shall be awarded the first action. If there is still a dispute, law number 1 immediately goes into effect. 


3. A woman may not knowingly purchase the same item of clothing as a friend. However, she may borrow said item as many times as she wants, provided it is at least six days from the last time her friend wore it. She also must ensure that she wears said item at a different location. 


4. Bringing a boyfriend to an officially scheduled “Ladies Night Out” is punishable by death and/or loss of reputation. 


5. A woman must never leave any of her female entourage with any man or at a bar or public place. The exception to this is if man has been screened by at least 3 friends for a period of no less than 15 minutes each. For safety reasons, he should also be required to provide: 3 forms of government issued ID, his resume, 3 professional references and one family member to be held as collateral. 


6. Jealousy of other women is permissible if she looks more attractive or she thought of something to attract attention that you overlooked. The exception to the rule is if said woman is listed as an official"BFF". 


7.I) If your best friend breaks up with a guy, it follows that the guy remains off limits for a period of no less than 6 years, but no greater than 25. He may also be available if the principle woman unexpectedly dies and an official police inquiry lists the circumstances of death as “natural causes”. 


7.II)If the guy dumped your best friend, it is not permissible to date him at any point, present or future, and doing so will result in loss of reputation, eternal exile or death by hanging.
  
8. It is considered high treason to knowingly let your friend leave for a night out with unflattering attire or clothing that enhances any undesirable attributes she may posses.


9. If a group of guys approaches a group of your friends and one of your friends has no guy to talk to, she must consult her registered “BFF”. If her “BFF” is attracted to any particular male in the group, the girl is required to stay and tough it out. If the “BFF” does not fancy any of the guys, the lone girl is permitted to make up any excuse that may cause a mass exodus and consequently ruin things for everyone else. This may include things like: contagious disease, burning apartments, tv shows, manicures etc.


10. A woman may use shopping as a therapeutic activity. She may not perform this activity with a male unless he is gay and an officially registered “DGF” (Designated Gay Friend). This is to avoid any potential complications associated with being hit on. 

How to win arguments with women: (Tip 1) Abandon all logic.

 

 LEARN THIS

There are no two ways about it guys, men and women are profoundly different. Think of men and women as computers. When it comes to communication, women are born with certain functions and software that men are not. For example,


1200 MHz Enhanced Superfluous Information Storage.
16 Core, 256 channel Memory Processor.
Super XVGA Facial Expression and Body Language Recognition Software.
Hyperthreading Vocal pitch analysis.
1000GB Reality Modifier
4000 Watt Random Tear Generator.


If you do not understand these tools, you are doomed to lose arguments for the rest of your life and in the worst case scenario, be driven to OJ Simpson-like behavior. Here’s the first tip to avoid making the 8 o’clock News.


Tip 1: Abandon All Logic:
Many people say women are not logical creatures. This is misleading. I have met many logical women. Women just know that if they keep the argument in the realm of the logic, then we actually stand a chance of winning. So they call on their emotive side to fabricate scenarios and arguments that confuse men and derail them off of any logical track they were on.


The scenario will have nothing to do with the actual problem. If you looked at the beautiful girl that walked in the bar, the argument will likely be about you chewing too loudly in front of relatives, always using the microwave on high or buying fat free milk because you think she is fat. If you cling to your idea that this is a logical exercise, you may argue for three hours and end up caving in and buying her whole milk. A few days later she will scream at you, claiming you think she is so skinny that you changed from fat free milk to whole milk just to fatten her up.


Solution:
Don’t be another naive man and think you didn’t do anything wrong. You did! Just re-trace your most recent activities. Include all moments that involved other beautiful women and occasions where you promised to deliver something and failed to do so. Even if you think it is little, include it on the list of suspects. In fact, thinking something is insignificant should be also added onto the list. Only 0.34% of males ever figure out their original infraction, so if you actually figure it out, she will be so confused, yet impressed, that she will lose her way and cave in.

10 signs she's JUST not into you.

Ok guys! No more excuses for being sketchy and behaving like a stalker! You need to quickly identify how she feels and be able to recognize all the signs that she is into you and conversely, all the signs she's not into you. I have consulted with my panel of aggravated female experts and we came up with 10 signs that tell you that SHE'S JUST NOT INTO YOU!1. C-Blocking BFFS.


If her friends show up every time you try to talk to her and drag her away to the other side of the bar and/or a comet on the furthest extremities of our solar system, it points to a fact you may not want to accept. Fact that the whole c-blocking exercise is just another blaring sign she's is not into you and her friends have been assigned the task of rescuing her from you every time you approach her! She is not into you, let her go! Plenty of fish in the sea!


2. The Gauntlet. 
If you try to approach a girl and all her friends get into a single file, defensive formation, requiring that you talk to each of them before you get to her, chances are they are giving her time to pull a Houdini and disappear. At the end of the gauntlet you find only archaeological evidence that she was ever there.


3. The Ignore Button. 

When you call her, does her phone go to voice mail after 4-6 rings? Here's the math: it takes about 2 rings for your phone to connect to hers and about 1-2 seconds for her to react. So chances are she hit the "ignore button". You could leave a message, perhaps a call back number but the best thing you can do is just come to terms with the fact that she is just not into you.


5. "I'll just go ahead and Reschedule" 
Females have a hierarchy of people, plans and activities. If there is something she does every week like watch Grey's Anatomy and decides to skip it to see you or God forbid invites you to come watch it with her, she is probably into you. If she keeps canceling or rescheduling, she is likely just not willing to make an effort to see you. Time you faced the facts. Besides, how is it possible that her cat gets sick EVERY Thursday between 8pm and 10:30pm?


4. "Forgetting" 

I am referring to cases where she makes plans with you then pretends to have forgotten. When you think of the female brain...think "elephant brain". Don't be stupid enough to think a woman can forget to call or forget about your "date". They don't forget, they just have something or somebody better to do ~ and it ain't you!

6. The "1 step" dance!
Every girl has a personal space. She lets certain people into it and keeps others out. If you take 1 step towards her and she takes 1 step away, she is doing the Not into You dance to the tune Micheal Jackson's Beat It. What you need to do at this point is moonwalk yourself in the opposite direction because she aint got time for you.

7. Friend request pending. ....

If you continuously friend request her on Facebook and you get no response, there is no Facebook malfunction!! She is ALWAYS online!. In fact she was probably online when you requested her friendship saying, "not this jackass again! I'm not into him at all," then strangling herself briefly.

8. Mr "perfectly not you."
If the description of her perfect man is directly opposite to you, it's a red flag. For example, if you are a short, red headed, Irish male and she says, "I just wanna meet a tall, black, muscular, NBA player that doesn't eat potatoes." I think the writing is on the wall buddy.

9. Humor me!

"THAT LOOK"!!

Whether a woman laughs at your jokes, it has little to do with whether you are actually funny or not. If she likes you, she will laugh, it's flirtatious and she is enjoying your company. If she always has THE LOOK on her face, the one that makes her look as if she is in a concentration camp, then you should reconsider things.

10. Super "other" man. 

If she keeps talking about another as if he is a superhero i.e. he's funnier than you, smarter than you, he has x-ray vision, he can fly etc. She may not dislike you, but you are probably her designated gay friend (DGF). She is just about to tell you that she considers you to be like a brother to her, at which point you will turn to this post and say to yourself, "The post was right, she really just isn't that into me."

10 signs a guy is Definitely Not into you!

The fact is, a guy will be willing to walk the extra mile for a girl he is into. For that reason there will be numerous signals and signs a guy is into you. Conversely, there are just as many signs that he is not into you that are not worth ignoring. Here are 10 more obvious signs he is not into you and can ditch you at any moment and vanish like a dead-beat dad. 

1. He only calls at Booty Call hours.

At 11pm, the booty call time zone begins. Anything that happens in a guy's life after 11pm is orientated to fulfilling the carnal need to copulate. If a guy only calls you after 11:00pm (BCT) you are an after thought, a last ditch attempt to find a bed to sleep in after a tireless night of failure with numerous other women. You are the second string quarterback and you only get called up if the starter is severely injured or otherwise available. A guy will call you at a reasonable hour, so that it's possible to make plans that might take place anywhere other than in the sack if he is truly interested.


2. He introduces you as a friend to other women.
Most guys would rather burst into flames and be condemned to eternal hell fire than refer to a woman they are interested in as "a friend." The trauma is associated from years of use of the word by women to let guys down easy. Friend is a meaningful term to ladies so if he meets other ladies and makes sure to mention you are "his friend Kate" then he is basically putting a black bag over your head and telling the other women that he is free game, scouring the wilderness and available for capture.


3. He keeps forgetting your name. 
If you meet him more than twice and he can't remember your name, he is purging your name from his memory every time he meets you. Basically, his mind is pressing "Delete" then right clicking on "Recycling Bin," selecting "Empty Recycle bin" and eradicating you from memory to make space for other women that he is actually interested in.


4. He doesn't want to be seen with you in public.

Needless to say this is NOT good!

If a guy likes you, he will have no problem appearing with you in public, well lit, intoxication free situations where he may be required to introduce you to people he knows. If he avoids introducing you to people he knows, he is hoping to avoid the ridicule or damage that can occur as a result of association to you i.e he doesn't want people to think you are together. So if he only ever wants to hang out alone or in poorly lit, noisy places, frequently takes "short cuts," and he looks suspiciously around as if he stole something then you need to get the hint girl.


5. He is a NO-SHOW
When a guy is into you, he will show up to things that he believes that you think are important. There are no guys that enjoy Romantic Comedies or Sex And The City marathons and if they do, they probably have a crush on your best friend Greg and not you. The point is, he will come and fake being entertained because it will make you happy. This is a ritual reserved for women a guy actually cares about. If you are just the booty call girl, then there is no reason a sane man will subject himself to Sarah Jessica Parker for you.


6. He is always too busy to get together.
We are rarely too busy to see you. We are just doing something or seeing someone better. You will be surprised at the ability of a man's loins to manufacture free time! I will evidence this by mentioning an incident that took place a few years back where former NBA star Charles Barkley ran a stop sign. He was ultimately detained in the company of a woman that provided for him a sexual experience that he described as "the best one he'd ever had". That's a small example of the extent a guy may go to "making time" to see you.


7. He has to get wasted to see you.

When a guy has to be drunk to hang out with you, this is a dead give away. He likely needs alcohol to make you more attractive, to alleviate any guilt he feels, increase the chances of him forgetting it ever happened or so that he can have an excuse as to why he did it should anyone find out. So he can give his friends the, "Dude I was totally wasted last night. I don't even remember doing that." ~ he does. He is just not into you.

8. He treats you like part of "The Crowd."

If a guy is into you, he will create some way to make you the focus of a conversation. He will refer to you, glance at you, tease you etc. He may ignore you for brief spells then refocus on you but if you feel like a piece of furniture in a group of people and you are getting no attention at all from a guy then he probably is not into you. This is especially true if you talking to other men, which will always bring out the Baboon that lies deep within every male. He will be compelled to come and try and bark his opponent away thus marking his Territory.

9. He asks you for advice with other women.

It is very rare that a guy will ask a girl he is into for advice about the pursuit of other females. That kind of behavior is reserved for females we are really good, long friends with or siblings. So if he asks you about how he can get with another woman, he probably considers you as one of the aforementioned types of women. You will no doubt be impressed how hard he is trying for another woman, get jealous and try to steal him for yourself but it wont change the fact that he simply isn't into you.

10. He claims to be "emotionally unavailable"

Recently, men have found a new way to communicate with women which involves using the exact vocabulary women have used on men historically. It really is easier this way, rather than them telling the woman the cold harsh truth. Here is a list of classics:


I am just not ready now 
I just came out of a long relationship
I am no good for you
You deserve a better guy
I am not emotionally ready for another relationship,
I am emotionally unavailable
You caught me at a difficult time in my life


= I"M NOT INTO YOU!!


So ladies translate the very language you created to indirectly tell guys that you are not interested and stop living in denial and waiting for him complete his "therapy" and be Ready to Love Again....(the kiss, end movie, roll credits)

10 Extraordinary facts about the Human Body that you probably didn't know! 0 digg 3 Share

I'd feel like a degenerate if I never imparted on you any knowledge valuable enough to at least make you look cool in front of your friends. The human body is a marvelous, complex structure with a plethora of mysteries and wonders. Here are 12 interesting facts we do know. I have heard of some of these but not others, either way I think they are all truly amazing. 

 

1. Every hour one billion cells in the body must be replaced. 
If you drink I am sure the number may be more in the vicinity of the trillions....

2. A human eye can distinguish as many as 500 shades of the gray. 
Although as a man, I can only think of about 2. Light gray and dark gray. Turn out it's more subtle than that i.e I'm an idiot.


3. Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. 
That is quite amazing! I am surprised they ever break.


4. The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30 feet (9 m). 
That would certainly be a pretty effective, undetectable one time use weapon....not recommended!


5. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. 
That is pretty interesting! In the case of people like Babara Streisand, their nose may in fact never stop growing.


6. The average cough comes out of your mouth at 60 miles (96.5 km) per hour. 
If you face backwards and cough your way through a 100m dash, shouldn't you win easily?


7. A sneeze can exceed the speed of 100 mph. 
If you sneeze on road with a 60mph speed limit should you get a ticket?
 
8. Human blood travels 60,000 miles (96,540 km) per day on its journey through the body. 
Bare in mind the Earth's Circumference at the Equator: 24901.55 miles (40075.16 km).


9. 85% of the population can curl their tongue into a tube. 
The practical application being that you no longer require a straw to sip your drink 


10. Womens' hearts beat faster than men.
This is no surprise. An existence of nagging and complaining would require a greater blood flow...lol.